Miranda Experimental Space Station (MESS)
view of earth from MESS
home (Ethan Alden)
Other names
“God bless this MESS!”
- Lin-Manuel Miranda
The Miranda Experimental Space Station, or MESS, is a space station built in Earth’s orbit shortly before the Lizard Apocalypse began. It is named for the award winning composer, lyricist, and actor, Lin-Manuel Miranda, who donated significantly toward the station’s construction. Built for the purpose of conducting research and experiments on a wide variety of subjects, it became Ethan Alden’s home when he was stranded onboard for the duration of the apocalypse.
Construction and purpose
MESS was originally created for various scientific experimentation and research purposes (though it did have a pool table). It was the birthplace of the space paper bag, the paper bag that functions in space. This invention did not take off like the Fisher Space Pen, but is notable for tenacity and cheek.
Lizard Apocalypse
When the Lizard Apocalypse began, an emergency signal ordered all the astronauts to abandon the space station and return to Earth immediately, or else risk being stranded in space. MESS was evacuated by all personnel, who also brought with them as many of the animals onboard MESS as they could. However, given the limited size of the escape pods, some animals were left behind. Barney the tuatara was left behind because he had escaped his habitat and couldn’t be found.
Ethan Alden was also left behind. Having eaten an enormous quantity of candy on a dare, Ethan suffered an intense sugar crash and was in a deep sleep when the astronauts left the station. In the fast-paced chaos of the evacuation, including coaxing an argumentative parrot down from a tree, Ethan was forgotten. It was only when the last escape pod had launched and was descending to Earth that an employee at Johnson Space Center in Houston said, “Did we get the Pop-Tarts kid?”
Ethan woke up alone on MESS and initially thought it was the rapture, which triggered a spiritual crisis. He spent the first few days rifling through a copy of the Bible to, “look for clues.” He also claims to have watched both the 2000 and 2014 movie adaptations of Left Behind 11 times each, while taking copious notes. On the 5th day he noticed that all the escape pods were gone, and guessed that MESS was evacuated.
Ethan called MESS his home for the next ten years. He spent most of the time watching movies and completing the few chores and maintenance tasks he knew about, such as taking care of the animals, until they were abducted.
extensive Film Library
MESS was initially built with a movie theater designed to host a respectable movie library, due to how many people it could accommodate for such long periods. However, a miscommunication led to each new astronaut believing they must bring as many new films onboard as possible. The misunderstanding, combined with a meticulous digital log of all current and planned supplies, resulted in an impressive collection of films in a variety of formats. Ethan Alden has professed his gratitude. Only a handful of curmudgeonly astronauts are still annoyed about the extra baggage they brought with them.
The New New York Times has called it, “probably the most important film library in terms of cultural preservation,” after which The New New New York Times chastised them for using the caveat, “probably.”