ßkwwlth
actor ßkwwlth, playing Julius Caesar
“He does the best impression I’ve ever seen of somebody who doesn’t care that the kitchen forgot to leave cheese off his salad.”
- Halle Berry
“I asked him if he’d ever been to Wendy’s and he said no — but he was kidding. Got me good.”
- Jamie Lee Curtis
ßkwwlth is a celebrated lizard person actor.
Early Life
ßkwwlth was born in a subterranean lizard community beneath the Lake Erie. When he was a child, his family’s roof leaked. He often had to act dry so he wouldn’t feel so wet. He got pretty good at it, to the point where — to this day — he has trouble experiencing the physical sensation of wetness.
Acting Career
When he was 27 (in lizard years), a woman approached him on the street and asked him if he had a moment to sign a petition. ßkwwlth said “Yes,” and proceeded to walk away, to the woman’s surprise.
Since then, ßkwwlth has acted in numerous productions on stage and screen. He played Jeff Bezos in the film portrayal of the Human Celebrity Gladiator Games. He played Julius Caesar in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar (pictured above). He was the screenwriter and acted as the titular lizard of A Lizard Runs Through It, in the remake of 1992 drama film A River Runs Through It. He is slated to portray a fictionalized version of the Lizard King in the upcoming Indiana Jones film [see article for Temple de Reptilia].
He also once pretended to be tired in order to go home early from a party, and everybody believed him.
Favorite Movie
ßkwwlth says his favorite movie is Akeelah and the Bee, but I’m only now realizing he may just be acting like it’s his favorite.