Zyclops

Zyclops as painted by an admirer

Folk Zaddy

Other names

homebrewing

Hobbies

“Zamn.”

- Vampire Mike

Zolyphemus, also known as Zyclops, is a one-eyed extraterrestrial traveling folk musician. He flies across the globe, beaming people up into his spaceship, and treating them to hors d'oeuvres while performing his own musical compositions. He is nicknamed Zyclops for his universal sex appeal.

Origin

Zyclops is an enigmatic individual. His race and planet of origin are unknown. He began abducting earthlings during the Lizard Apocalypse.

The first people abducted were crew members of the sea serpent hunting vessel, the Notary Public. The ship was fighting a large sea serpent in the middle of an awful storm. Four crew members — three women and one man — vanished in beams of light. This was extremely unfortunate for the Notary Public, as the sea serpent had eaten 8 people, leaving the ship shorthanded.

The crew members found themselves in a “pleasant, Grecian room with flowing water, green vines, and plenty of natural sunlight.” Zolyphemus introduced himself briefly to his dazed audience, told them to help themselves to a nearby table of finger foods and beer, and began to play on his panpipes. Once the four were relaxed and had forgotten their troubles, Zolyphemus told them to have a nice evening, and put them back on the ship.

The four, in describing the bizarre event, couldn’t stop repeating how gorgeous the cyclops was. The one male crew member said, “I’m not gay...but Zyclops,” coining the name.

Subsequent Abductions

Zyclops has abducted many others up to his ship for performances over the years. An afternoon with Zyclops is so enjoyable that many consider the word “abduction” an unfortunate name — although technically accurate.

American actor and musician Donald Glover was taken aboard the ship and absolutely destroyed Zyclops in a rap battle. Glover says Zyclops, “was super humble about it. Cool guy.”

Undead socialite and possible Renaissance artist Vampire Mike once vanished before his own party guests and reappeared a couple hours later, having been spirited away by Zyclops. Vampire Mike sang praises of Zyclops as a host, a brewer, and a “physical specimen worth sculpting — if I were into sculpting, which I am probably not.”

Zyclops once beamed up psychedelic prog rock lizard band Sweet Summer Gecko for a jam session. They said they had a lot of fun, and that the cranberry-fig goat cheese crostinis were “to die for.”

Praying Mantis was once asked if she had ever met Zyclops, but it’s tough to get a straight answer out of her.

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