Notary Public
the Notary Public in pursuit of a sea serpent
nicknamed the Hellboat Sailboat
Other names
“F*ck that boat.”
- a witch
The Notary Public is a sea serpent hunting ship. Ethan Alden’s cousin is the cabin boy. The ship is cursed.
Background
The Lizard King gave ventral birth to his 3 wyvern sons asexually, which asexually populated the oceans of the Earth with sea serpents of various sizes, shapes, and emotional maturity levels. Many of these sea serpents are consumed with great malice and destroy everything in their path. Both government ships and private ships patrol the oceans hunting down the mean ones that are killing people. Due to the unique technological setbacks brought upon the Earth by the Lizard Apocalypse, nearly all of these vessels are old fashioned whaling ships, including the Notary Public.
Construction and subsequent curse
The ship was built during the Lizard Apocalypse and began its voyages from the Port of Virginia. Clawsco employee and West Virginia cryptid Mothman christened its maiden voyage. Ethan Alden’s cousin was cabin boy when a witch cursed the boat for unknown reasons. The curse was a non-specific, generic sort of curse where things go horribly wrong and the crew always feels uneasy.
Since being cursed, the Notary Public has been boarded by pirates 13 times, had the mizzenmast bitten in half twice by sea monsters, been mistaken for a rorqual and fired upon by whalers, lost 4 crew members to alien abduction, had all the ship’s wine turned into water by Reverse Jesus, been swallowed by Charybdis, and — due to a misunderstanding — lost a prom queen election at Desert Sands Charter High School in Hesperia to senior Shannon Crossley.
Battle with Squidney
The Notary Public was hunting sea serpents within sight of the coast of Nantucket when it came across the notorious giant squid and ecoterrorist Squidney. Squidney had sank 17 previous whalers for such trivialities as sailing through his view, having tasty gummy worms onboard, and “looking at him weird.” Squidney accused the Notary Public of “polluting the ocean with bad vibes.” He called them a bunch of hodads and told them to get lost, claiming this part of the sea was “locals only.” Ethan Alden’s cousin shouted, “No, you,” and a fight broke out.
Squidney was slain when the crew of the Notary Public pinned its tentacles to the deck and the captain squirted an entire bottle of Doctor Doomlittle’s Extra Spicy Trinidad Scorpion Butch T Pepper Salsa Dip and Transmission Fluid into Squidney’s beak. Squidney broke persona, said, “Egads,” and died.
The ship was in total disrepair and wasn’t sure how they would make ends meet. ßkoolth, who would later become Governor ßkoolth, intervened with an expert financial plan that saved the ship from bankruptcy. The captain and the crew — and the general public — all consider this more impressive than killing the squid, and it helped bolster ßkoolth’s reputation for her eventual campaign for Governor of New York.
Film Ban
The captain banned all movies onboard the Notary Public, after it crashed into a sandbar due to a midshipman watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in the crow’s nest.
Xebec Card
The Xebec collectible trading card game includes a card for the Notary Public. The card is designed to be a common, well-rounded card for all deck archetypes at all levels of play, in order to grant even beginner collectors a fighting chance against tough opponents. However, due to the Ursa Medium incident, and the curse on the ship, most of the cards were destroyed in a fire. The card is now the rarest card in the game.
The first copy of the card was put on display at the Xebec factory tour and gift shop, where it remains. After the fire it was put under tighter security and became a tourist attraction. There is one other card out there somewhere. Pseudoscience theories claim lost film actor and American cryptid Ray Romano carries it on his person.