Alexandra the Great

Alexandra the Great at a book signing, refusing to sign a baby because “that’s weird.”


Alex

Other names


self-improvement, writing

Hobbies


“The Marie Kondo of time travel.”

- The New New York Times

Alexandra Rachelle Vouvali, known as Alexandra the Great, is a time traveling self-help guru. Her autobiographical self-help book is a bestseller according to both The New New York Times and its rival, The New New New York Times.

Early Life

Alexandra was born in 1847 in rural Greece. She developed time travel at 51 and hasn’t stopped traveling through time since. She has been alive 128 years, though she appears “a youthful 60” according to fellow author Robert Lizard Stevenson. She and the enigmatic Stevenson are friends, though she keeps Stevenson’s identity a secret.

Lizard Apocalypse and Self-Help Book

Alexandra has appeared a few times during the Lizard Apocalypse to promote her self-help book, Clockwork: Making your own hours. The book’s prologue gives instructions on how to travel through time, and then all the subsequent chapters explain how to maximize that time. The instructions on time travel are so detailed and complex that no other human being has been able to pull it off. However, the book still frequently sells out at Clawsco, the non-human alternative to Costco (and guardians against the awakening of Cthulhu).

Of her book, Cassie Heppenstall of The New New New York Times wrote:

“Time travel is an accomplishment of note, I suppose. Yet, the book’s true accomplishments are its wisdom on how to stay resolved amidst peer pressure, managing the stress of working in a Michelin star kitchen, and the destigmatization of pit bulls in American society. Alexandra’s own pit bull, Denis Ville-woof, steals the show (and Alexandra’s slippers!) every other chapter.”

Wealth and Donations

Though significantly younger than Vampire Mike, Alexandra is believed to have amassed even more wealth than the vampire. She uses some of her vast fortune to support independent cinema. She is a Platinum Circle Donor to Lizard Sundance.

Favorite Movie

Alexandra the Great’s favorite movie is 2002 action comedy film Clockstoppers, describing it as “surreal, because it’s like watching my autobiography,” in her autobiography.

Cobra VS Croc

Alexandra the Great was complimentary of the street artist duo Cobra VS Croc in her book, praising their work not just for its aesthetic merit and poignant social commentary, but also for being a prime example of “artistic expression as an emotional outlet and source of self-love.” As a result, Cobra and Croc traveled to Alexandra’s hometown in Greece and painted a mural of Cobra, Croc, and Alexandra meditating together.