Squidney
Squidney
asshole
Other names
environmental terrorism, murder
Hobbies
“A menace.”
Squidney was a giant squid, ecoterrorist, and jerk. He killed a lot of innocent people in the name of “creating a more bodacious ocean.”
Origin and History
The Lizard King gave ventral birth to 3 wyvern sons Yuri, Yathaniel, and Yucaipa, who populated the seas with their own sea serpents offspring. Many innocent humans and non-humans were killed by the sea serpents during transatlantic voyages, spawning the sea serpent hunting industry. Due to the apocalyptic setback in technology, sea serpent ships were old fashioned sailing vessels.
Squidney was first seen by one of these sea serpent hunting ships when he seemingly came to their rescue, killing the serpent they were fighting. However, he then attacked the ship itself. He tore into the ship for its grog, got drunk, and ate the rest of the crew.
Squidney went on to destroy numerous other vessels, whether sea serpent hunters, civilian transports, merchant ships, or scientific research vessels; he did not discriminate. Efforts were made to find and stop him, but he was too elusive.
Death
Squidney eventually came into contact with the sea serpent vessel upon which Ethan Alden’s cousin was the cabin boy: the cursed ship the Notary Public. Squidney insulted the ship and a fight broke out. Squidney had the upper hand, until the captain emptied a bottle of Doctor Doomlittle’s Extra Spicy Trinidad Scorpion Butch T Pepper Salsa Dip and Transmission Fluid into his beak and killed him.
Squidney’s Ghost
Even in death, Squidney is considered a public menace — if not more so, now that he can appear on land. He frequently crashes the Oktoberfest and Halloween film festival at Pasadena City College of the Dead. Apparently he was actually invited once, but the staff regrets that now.
Whenever he shows up, the staff has to awaken the Twin-Headed Goat God to throw him out.
Favorite Movie
Squidney’s favorite movie was the 2014 Robocop remake.