Doctor Doomlittle’s Extra Spicy Trinidad Scorpion Butch T Pepper Salsa Dip and Transmission Fluid
the first person to eat it turned into this
Butch T
Other names
“Do not eat.”
- warning on the bottle
Doctor Doomlittle’s Extra Spicy Trinidad Scorpion Butch T Pepper Salsa Dip and Transmission Fluid, colloquially known as Dr. D’s Butch T, or just Butch T, is a hot sauce and transmission fluid. It is so hot that it cannot be consumed — except by Fungini.
General Info
Butch T is the hottest in the Doctor Doomlittle line of hot sauces. Though it is named a “salsa dip” for its unsettling sludge-like consistency, it is, scientifically speaking, a hot sauce. The flavor is unknown, as it is not usually consumed. Even Crab Lord won’t go near it, who is not a picky eater as a rule.
It has an extremely strong odor. Most are afraid to smell it, and many who do smell it lose their sense of smell for the rest of their life, as well as all sensation in their feet for the next six hours. The few who know agree it smells, as one described it, “like quicklime poured over hot whale carrion.”
Uses
When diluted heavily with water, the smell is somewhat muted — though never entirely abated — and it makes an excellent transmission fluid for industrial machinery. The Bagger 288 Excavator, bucket-wheel excavator and famed heaviest land vehicle in the world, switched to Butch T ten years ago, and has used only a quarter of a bottle since then.
Giant squid and eco-terrorist Squidney was slain by the crew of the Notary Public when the captain poured an entire bottle of Butch T down the giant squid’s throat.
One attempt to assassinate the Lizard King utilized the hot sauce as a poison. The plot was quickly discovered when half of those present in the dining hall of the Lizard King’s home palace Temple de Reptilia Dungeon and Botanical Gardens fainted as the soup was served.
In spite of its uselessness as a condiment, it sells out quickly at Clawsco (the non-human version of Costco), and at Ogretown, the ogre village and vacation destination. It is purchased as a novelty, given as a gag gift, and often placed on shelves as home/office decor. It is a popular centerpiece at wedding tables as a conversation starter.
Time traveler and self-help guru Alexandra the Great lists Dr. D’s Butch T in her complex formula for time travel as, “a workable substitute if you’re out of coriander.”
Fungini
Ancient sentient mushroom woman and professional illusionist Fungini, is the only person to eat Butch T unscathed. She puts it on tacos, and says it’s “pretty good; spicy.”
In Film and Culture
Dr. D’s Butch T has been featured in numerous films. Notable examples include How to Lose a Lizard in 10 Days and Ferris Bueller’s 2nd, Less Adventurous Day Off.
Sean Evans featured the hot sauce on his YouTube talk show Hot Ones, in which he interviews celebrities while eating increasingly hotter wings with them. He put Butch T on the table as a joke when interviewing New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde. Lorde dumped half the bottle onto her last chicken wing and ate it, saying “Mmm, delicious wing.”
Doctor Doomlittle, Inc. owns the Gila Monsters, the professional carapace team of Los Angeles.
The street art project Cobra VS Croc once featured Butch T. On the wall of a brewery in Frogtown, Los Angeles, a giant painting depicted Cobra wearing a gas mask, coiled around Croc, squeezing a bottle of Butch T into Croc’s smouldering mouth.