Governor sskoolth
roundel of governor ßkoolth on the campaign trail
NYG
Other names
metallurgy
Hobbies
“I promise to put the State of New York back on the map. I’m not entirely certain how it was removed. Frankly it’s disconcerting. We’re the Ray Romano of states. Be that as it may, no cartographical efforts shall go New-York-less from this day forth. Excelsior!”
- Governor ßkoolth’s election victory speech
Governer ßkoolth is the Governor of the State of New York, and the first lizard person elected into government office.
She became widely known for her role in slaying the evil giant squid and environmental terrorist Squidney.
She is a well-loved governor.
Early Life
ßkoolth was born and raised beneath New York State (which was part of her local appeal during election season). Her parents were bat guano farmers. ßkoolth became comfortable around animals and feces at a young age, which prepared her well for American politics.
Lizard Apocalypse and blossoming public awareness
By the time ßkoolth came to live on the surface, the Lizard King’s 3 wyvern sons had populated the world’s oceans with sea serpents. Enterprising whaler crews such as the Notary Public sought payment for killing the most murderous and bloodthirsty sea serpents. On one such journey, the Notary Public came across malicious giant squid and eco-terrorist, Squidney. A battle ensued and Squidney was slain, but not without significant damage to the Notary Public [see main article for Notary Public].
When the ship returned, it was ßkoolth who came up with a comprehensive financial plan to get the whaling ship back in working order without ending up in the red. As a cursed ship that keeps on keeping on, the Notary Public has become a public a symbol of perseverance. Its salvation due to ßkoolth’s business savvy is recognized as “probably more impressive than the actual slaying of a giant squid, probably,” according to the ship’s own captain, and agreed upon by its crew.
Election and Governorship
ßkoolth went on to run for public office in New York’s gubernatorial race. She recalls her aunt recommending, “Hey, what if you ran for public office in New York’s gubernatorial race?” to which ßkoolth replied, “Yeah.”
ßkoolth was running unopposed until someone filled out all the proper paperwork for a puppy to run in opposition, for a laugh. The race was extremely close. When The New New York Times asked for a comment on their voting experience, one New York resident said, “I almost voted for that dog, it was this close. My kids were with me and I knew it would mean a lot to them. But then I remembered, oh shit, they’ve gotta run this place. So it was ßkoolth.” This caliber of moralistic reasoning is not uncommon in the post-apocalyptic United States.
ßkoolth is extremely popular and respected as a governor of New York. The state was particularly hard hit by the Lizard Wars, but ßkoolth has restored its economy and quality of life. She also made good on her promise to put the state “back on the map,” after it was discovered the state had been removed from all maps by a vindictive wizard. She also passed new legislation to prevent further business confusion, annoyance, and even tragedy in the Ursa Medium incident.
The puppy’s name is Crayon. I imagine it’s over the loss.
Favorite Movie
Governor ßkoolth’s favorite movie is They Live. She watches it every Friday night with her husband ßkuulth and their cat, Baseball Murphy, who always hisses at the end when the guy says, “What’s wrong, baby?”
Xebec Card
The Xebec card of Governor ßkoolth brings a previously destroyed ship back into active play. It is not an uncommon card, but players can only have one in their deck. Not only for fairness, but also because the ink utilized to get Governor ßkoolth’s eye color just right has a strong scent, and may cause nausea and internal bleeding if too many Governor ßkoolth cards are collected in one location.
Worth it though. She has beautiful eyes.